The Self-Care Practice You Neglect Most Might be the Most Important
The act of gratitude doesn’t have to be fancy. It’s simple, really.
It’s a one-sentence recognition of a kind deed; it’s a quick prayer into the wind; it’s a moment of silence marking appreciation of our surroundings. But for some reason, making gratitude a daily practice takes work. Maybe for some people a daily attitude of gratitude comes naturally, and if so, I congratulate you. I suspect you are also one of those “I always wake up naturally at 5:30 am” and “I never forget to take my calcium” types.
I have to be honest, though, that ain’t me. My parents told me I would grow up into an early riser, but I find now that sleeping past 9 am is as effortless as ever…or would be if I could. And after all that time in Sunday school, you would think the thanks would be flowing from my lips on the regular. But the reality is that my internal monologue is naturally set on self-destruct mode, and it takes diligence and focus to be anything else.
When it comes to any activity that is self-care related it just doesn’t come easily to me. I know I am not the only one. In fact, these kinds of character traits are common among those of us with persistent pain. I need constant reminders to do things that are good for my well being. I need accountability. Even an app isn’t enough because I have had plenty of those and they just don’t stick. If someone could invent something like the robot from the Jetsons that follows me around pestering me until I do my meditation for the day, that would be superb. That’s a million dollar idea!
If knowing about the potential benefits was enough then it would be easy to find time for gratitude, because I have found in my pain research that a regular practice of gratitude has demonstrated improvements in chronic back pain and arthritis symptoms. How about that?!
Wait a second, you might be thinking, “Doesn’t this make you kind of a hypocrite?” Well, maybe…but I prefer instead to say that “We teach what we know.” The reason I press on so diligently with my chronic pain clients to remind them to put their health first, to establish boundaries that preserve their sanity and to make time for hope and gratitude is because these are the things I SUCK at.
When overwhelm is on the horizon – and let’s be real, that’s like 75% of the time as an entrepreneur? – the first things I forget to do are the things that fill my cup, that bring me peace of mind. I am sure I am not the only one. That’s why there are so many of us out here screaming from the rooftops about being enough!
One of the magical things that happens when you get a chance to start spending time with inspiring, trailblazing women, is that you start to realize that they are burdened by the same fears, insecurities and self-doubt as the rest of us. It is very easy to feel like there’s this great divide between people who are capable of doing amazing things and people who are not. What I am realizing more and more is that EVERYONE who wants to can do amazing things. The difference is having the courage to do them even when everything inside is screaming “NOT YOU!!!!!” THIS ISN’T FOR YOU!!!” Oh, my dear, but it is.
And the thing about gratitude is that it’s kind of like this magical little snowball. You collect a bunch of shiny, cold snowflakes into a mound and the take a few minutes to press your positive energy into them by speaking goodness into the world. Then you toss it down the hill. And it starts to roll. Because you took a moment to find the light of joy in your heart, you start spreading that joy outwards, and it connects to the light in others. In the same way, the snowball starts collecting the glimmer of other snowflakes and they build upon each exponentially until suddenly….the entire energy of the whole mountain changes and it’s an avalanche. (Please note: No humans or animals were harmed in the making of this metaphor.)
So the thing I am trying to tell you is that gratitude is more than just a moment of self-care, like drinking your herbal tea or grabbing a quick walk at lunchtime. Gratitude is a tiny key that can often open a new door, changing the trajectory of your entire day – maybe even your life. I can tell you of many days in which I felt buried under self-doubt and worry and the simple act of thanking the universe landed serendipitous help in my lap. I’m not saying it’s magic, but I think it’s more like putting on different glasses. The world looks different through the eyes of gratitude and so we interact with it differently; and it, us.
So take a moment: What are you grateful for today?
